The Awkward Reality of Adults Finding Friends in 2025 (& How to Fix It)
Photo by Emmanuel Ogbonnaya on Unsplash
No one warned us that finding adult friends would feel like online dating without the romance.
You go to events, smile politely, maybe exchange Instagrams... and then nothing. Suddenly, making friends in adulthood feels more complicated than filing taxes.
But here’s what you should know: you’re not weird, you’re not alone, and yes, making friends as adults is possible. It just looks different than it did when we were younger. Different doesn’t mean impossible.
In this post, you’ll find 15 real, practical things you can start doing today to build the kind of meaningful adult friendships that feel easy, warm, and safe, even if you’re starting from scratch, or an introvert like me.
Why Making Friends as an Adult is So Awkward
Despite being more digitally connected than ever, genuine connection feels harder than it’s ever been. Here’s a breakdown of why this is happening:
1. Everyone's “Busy” But Lonely
Adults are constantly juggling jobs, side hustles, family, and personal goals. Most people don’t have the mental bandwidth for deepening new friendships.
Yet, loneliness is quietly rampant. According to recent global surveys, adult loneliness is a silent epidemic, even in bustling cities.
“Let’s link up soon!” has become the most socially accepted lie of our time.
2. Digital Life is a Mirage of Connection
Social media gives a false sense of closeness. You might see your old classmate’s wedding (literally saw this last week), your colleague’s birthday, and your neighbor’s new pet on your phone, but you haven’t spoken to any of them in months.
Online “likes” have replaced real emotional investment. In 2025, we’re in more group chats than group hugs.
3. We Overthink Every Interaction
Adults have lived long enough to know what rejection feels like, so they avoid it. Many don’t want to seem too eager or “needy,” so they wait for others to make the first move. Friendships now require the kind of courage most people reserve for romantic dating.
Asking someone to hang out feels like asking them out on a date, with the same risk of ghosting.
4. Adult Friendships Are Now Networking in Disguise
It’s common to meet people through work, conferences, or social entrepreneurship. But there's often an unspoken agenda: “What can you offer me?”
Friendships that aren’t “productive” or “aligned with my goals” feel like a waste of time in a hyper-capitalist society.
We’re taught to network for opportunities, not to nurture for friendship.
5. No One Teaches Us How to Make Friends as Adults
As kids, friendship happened naturally: the playground, the school bus, or the lunch table. In adulthood, making friends becomes a soft skill nobody teaches. It’s not as simple as “just put yourself out there.” It requires navigating emotional walls, mismatched schedules, and mutual vulnerability.
15 Practical Ways to Fix the Adult Friendship Crisis
1. Get Clear on the Kind of Friend You Want
Most people say they want more friends, but they haven’t defined what kind. Clarity is essential. If you don’t know what kind of friendship you're seeking, you may keep ending up in shallow or mismatched connections.
Some people are perfect for deep, heart-to-heart conversations, while others are great for spontaneous fun and laughter. Both types are valid, but expecting one to be the other will only lead to disappointment.
Ask yourself: Do I want someone to talk to weekly, or someone I see monthly? Am I craving a creative collaborator, a spiritual companion, or a gym buddy? Do I thrive more in group dynamics or one-on-one hangouts?
Once you identify what kind of friend you truly want—maybe an accountability partner, a no-judgment venting pal, or a spiritual bestie—it becomes easier to recognize them when they show up.
Take a moment to journal about the best friendship you’ve ever had and reflect on what made it great. That’s your blueprint. Defining what you need is the first empowering step when trying to find friends as an adult.
2. Shift from “Who Will Befriend Me?” to “Whom Can I Befriend?”
This is a subtle but powerful mindset shift: from passively waiting to actively creating. A lot of adults feel isolated because they wait to be invited, included, or checked on. But what if you became the safe space someone else is hoping for?
Many people are just waiting for someone to notice them. Instead of thinking, “No one ever reaches out to me,” try asking, “Who might be feeling just like I am right now?” and make a small move toward them. That could mean sending a simple “Hey, I thought of you today” message, offering help with a small task, or giving a genuine compliment that brightens someone’s day.
This mindset puts you back in the driver’s seat of your social life. Consider keeping a “friendship radar,” which can be a list of people you meet who feel aligned with your energy. Try to follow up within 48 hours of a meaningful interaction.
These small steps make a big difference when you’re trying to make friends as an adult, especially in a world where everyone is secretly hoping someone else will go first.
3. Reconnect With Old Friends Intentionally
Sometimes, the connection we crave isn’t brand new. It’s someone from our past who just needs a little rekindling. Rebuilding old friendships is often easier than starting from scratch because the foundation is already there: shared history, trust, and inside jokes.
What gets in the way? Guilt, time, or the fear that “it’s been too long.” But most people are just as relieved as you are to reconnect. They just didn’t know how to start. So, take the first step with something simple like, “Hey, I was thinking about you recently. How have you been?” You could also send a photo, an old memory, or something that reminded you of them.
The key is to not overthink the gap; just restart with warmth and no agenda. As a practice, you can choose one person from your past each month to gently reach out to. This is one of the most overlooked but powerful ways in how to meet new people as an adult, because sometimes, the “new” friend is actually someone you already loved once.
4. Make the First Move and Keep It Low-Stakes
Taking the first step doesn’t have to be dramatic or heavy. In fact, the simpler it is, the more likely it is to actually lead somewhere. Many adults hesitate to initiate because they fear coming off as “too much” or being rejected. Still, most people are secretly craving connection and just waiting for someone else to go first. That’s why low-stakes invitations are so powerful: they take the pressure off both parties.
You could say something as casual as, “Hey, want to grab coffee sometime this week?” or “There’s this book I think you’d love. Want me to send the link?” Even a warm, “I’m going to this art show/small group event—come with me?” can go a long way.
Don’t treat it like a proposal. You’re not signing a contract; you’re just opening a door. Friendship is a lot like gardening; some seeds grow quickly, some slowly, and some don’t sprout at all. That’s okay. What matters is that you’re planting. Learning how to make new friends as an adult starts with these small, no-pressure gestures that keep the door of connection wide open.
5. Be the Planner: Organize Small Gatherings
If no one’s making plans, be the one who does. Seriously. Most adults crave more social interaction, but few want to carry the logistics, so the person who does becomes an instant connector.
And no, you don’t need to be a loud extrovert or the life of the party. Just being the one who says “let’s meet” makes a difference. Start small and safe: maybe a “bring your own snack” hangout in your living room, a Zoom movie night for book club friends, a themed dinner like “Pasta Night,” or even a casual walk-and-talk meetup in your neighborhood park.
The secret sauce here is consistency. Even if the first one or two gatherings are tiny, people begin to look forward to your invites. Consider setting a recurring date like “First Saturday of the Month” and inviting the same few people each time.
Rhythm builds routine, and from routine, community forms. This is one of the most effective ways for how to make friends as a young adult, especially when everyone else is secretly hoping someone else will take the lead.
6. Show Up to Events Alone
Yes, it feels uncomfortable, but it’s also incredibly freeing. When you show up solo to an event, you're not just physically present, you’re energetically available for new connections.
People are more likely to approach someone who’s open and not already surrounded by a familiar group.
The awkwardness? It’s real. But awkwardness is often the price of entry to the best things in life, especially friendship.
To make it easier, choose events where mingling is expected, like workshops, creative meetups, or volunteer days.
Have a few open-ended questions ready like “What made you come today?” or “Have you been here before?” Give yourself a time limit if needed. Tell yourself you’ll stay for just an hour. Whether you meet someone new or not, you’ve already won just by showing up.
Track those small victories because confidence compounds. If you want to grow your adults friends circle, sometimes the bravest thing you can do is walk into a room by yourself, and stay curious.
7. Join Niche Communities or Clubs That Align With Your Interests
Making friends becomes way less awkward when you’re in a space where everyone shares the same interest or passion. Shared interests naturally spark conversation. You don’t have to start from scratch because you already have common ground. Whether it’s writing, fitness, faith, coding, or art, there are countless communities designed for real interaction.
You can explore in-person options like yoga studios, church groups, or creative classes; check out online spaces like Discord servers, Facebook Groups, Substack communities, and Reddit forums; or try hybrid formats like local clubs with WhatsApp or Telegram groups that stay in touch between meetups.
The key is to pick a space that encourages active engagement, not passive lurking. Choose one that fits your vibe and show up consistently for at least three months. You’re not just attending, you’re planting social roots. If you’ve been wondering how to meet friends as an adult, this is one of the most organic and long-lasting ways to do it.
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8. Use Friend-Making Apps and Platforms Without Shame
It’s 2025, and friendship apps are just as normal now as dating apps once were. In fact, they might be the most direct route to connection for many busy adults. These platforms exist specifically to help people find community, so there’s no need to pretend or beat around the bush.
Apps like Bumble BFF are great for one-on-one connections nearby, while Meetup lets you attend events based on your interests. Others, like Geneva, Friender, or Hey! VINA, offer a mix of group chats and activity-based connections.
The secret to success? Be honest in your bio about the kind of friendship you want, take the lead in conversations, and don’t rush the process because friendships take more than just a swipe.
If you feel nervous, try a simple goal like messaging three people a week or attending one Meetup event a month. It’s a powerful shift in how we form adult relationships. So if you’re still asking yourself, “How do you make friends as an adult?” don’t ignore the digital tools right at your fingertips.
9. Practice Consistency Over Intensity
Real friendship isn’t built in one magical conversation. It’s created in the steady, gentle rhythm of showing up over time. It’s tempting to want instant depth, but what builds trust and connection is consistency.
A quick weekly message or a small check-in is often more powerful than pouring your heart out once and disappearing. Think like a gardener: you’re tending to something slowly and intentionally.
That might look like sending a short voice note every Sunday, replying to their Instagram story with a thoughtful question, or congratulating them on small wins.
Psychologists have found that even “weak ties” (the people you interact with casually) can grow into deep friendships with a little nurturing.
Want a practical way to stay on track? Set a calendar reminder titled “Nudge a Friend” and commit just five minutes each week. These little touches add up. And when you’re figuring out how to find friends as an adult, consistency is your superpower. It’s the glue that holds new connections together.
10. Follow Up! Don’t Assume They’re Not Interested
Here’s a hard truth: most friendships don’t fade because of rejection; they fade because no one follows up. People get busy, distracted, or overwhelmed, and it’s easy to misread silence as disinterest. But in reality, all it often takes is a warm, low-pressure message to revive a connection.
Following up isn’t clingy, it’s kind. You’re letting someone know they matter enough to try again. It can be as simple as, “Hey, just circling back; still up for coffee this week?” or “No pressure, but I’d still love to hang if you’re free.”
If they don’t respond after two or three check-ins spaced out over time, that’s okay; move on with grace. But don’t ghost your own potential friendships out of fear. If you're trying to figure out how to make friends in adulthood, know this: most people appreciate the nudge more than you think.
11. Create Friendship Rituals
Want to make friendship feel less like a chore and more like something you look forward to? Build rituals. Simple, recurring plans give friendships structure without constant effort.
Think monthly brunches at the same spot, weekly Sunday voice notes to catch up, or even virtual co-working sessions where you both hop on Zoom to work quietly and chat during breaks. You can also create quarterly rituals, like trying something new every three months e.g. a pottery class, a hike, or just exploring a new restaurant.
These rhythms make friendship feel natural and remove the pressure of having “deep talks” every time. Rituals are one of the most underrated answers to how to make friends as an adult, because they help good connections grow without forcing them.
12. Be Vulnerable (Bit by Bit)
You don’t have to overshare your deepest fears on day one, but lasting friendships require a bit of realness. Vulnerability is what transforms casual acquaintances into true companions.
You can start small. For example, mentioning that you’ve been feeling disconnected, celebrating a scary-but-exciting win, or even admitting, “I get nervous making new friends. Do you ever feel that way, too?” These honest moments create space for others to be real with you, too.
It’s not about dramatic emotional unloading. Sometimes vulnerability is just talking openly about your dreams, awkward moments, or unpopular opinions.
If someone shares something personal, meet them there. Offer your own story or just listen with genuine care. If you’ve been wondering how to make friends as adults, this is the core of it: let yourself be seen, piece by piece.
13. Bring Good Energy (Be the Kind of Friend You’re Looking For)
If you want kind, curious, joyful, loyal people in your life, the best place to start is by being that kind of person yourself.
People are drawn to those who make them feel seen, safe, and uplifted. That doesn’t mean you need to be endlessly bubbly or outgoing—just present, warm, and real.
Listen more than you speak (but speak up when it counts). Compliment people sincerely. Show genuine interest in their lives. Show up on time, follow through, and celebrate their wins, big or small.
Friendship energy is contagious. Like attracts like. When you consistently bring good energy to your interactions, you naturally begin attracting the kind of connections you crave.
After each hangout, pause and ask yourself: “Would I want to be friends with me based on today?” One of the most underrated tips for how to make adult friends is simply to lead with the energy you hope to receive.
14. Get Comfortable With Rejection (It’s Not Personal)
Not every conversation turns into a connection, and not every connection turns into a friendship. And that’s okay. One of the biggest barriers to adults finding friends is the fear of rejection, but that fear is often based on a false belief: that rejection means you’re not good enough.
In reality, it usually just means the other person doesn’t have the time, energy, or compatibility to build something right now.
Try reframing it. A cold vibe doesn’t mean you did something wrong. A “no” today doesn’t mean “never.” If they ghost you, let it go with grace. Reluctant friendships aren’t what you’re looking for anyway.
Most adults are juggling unseen challenges: grief, burnout, anxiety, or just plain overwhelm. Rejection doesn’t diminish your value. When it stings, remind yourself: “This is redirection, not rejection.” Then keep going. Your people are still out there.
15. Accept That Adult Friendships Take Time and Intentional Effort
The ‘how to make friends’ adult edition looks different from your school days. It’s slower, messier, and more intentional. You’re not sharing dorm rooms or daily classes anymore.
You’re building connection across schedules, responsibilities, and emotional bandwidth. That means sometimes it feels like effort. People cancel. Chats are awkward. Someone might not text back for a week.
But adult friendships grow with consistency, not instant chemistry. Trust is built over time through showing up, following through, and slowly creating shared history.
Don’t let early awkwardness make you give up. Ask yourself: Am I willing to invest even if it takes a while? The strongest adult friendships often start as quiet, unremarkable connections that deepen with patience. Keep watering the seed. Let it grow.
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Final Thoughts:
You don’t need a million friends. You just need a few people who feel like home, and those are built, not found. Bit by bit, laugh by laugh, truth by truth.
Finding friends as an adult in 2025 is awkward because it goes against everything our modern lifestyle, work culture, and digital tools have conditioned us to prioritize.
But here’s the twist: everyone feels it, and many are silently hoping someone else will make the first move. Let that person be you.
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